Mmmmm..

I am pretty stoked about this milestone..

although there is a good chance she's just demanding "more" food..

A sixth sense .. in the face of danger

When you become a parent, especially a mother, a strange phenomenon occurs. Suddenly you are solely responsible for the well-being of this tiny, fragile, living, breathing person. Any illness or injury that baby incurs will inevitably reflect poorly on your pristine, super hero parenting status, whether it’s laser beaming from outside judgment or your own self-inflicted ridicule. It shouldn’t be that way, but it just is.

There’s that cheesy overused quote by Elizabeth Stone about how having a child is like deciding to “forever have your heart go walking outside of your body”. I hate to use it since it’s been sucked dry of novelty. But it doesn’t make the sentiment any less true. Suddenly the care-free, nomadic, life on the edge of youth mentality is replaced with a long, anxiety stricken, thoughtfully treaded path down the next 18 years. Whether it’s watching your clumsy little lady painfully power through another banger as she learns to walk, or waiting up past midnight because your newly dating teenager is a few minutes past curfew. It really never ends. But I’m jumping ahead of myself.

In the last few months I’ve recognized my new-found power – this uncanny ability to look around a room with a disturbing awareness of lurking danger. I’ve noticed my vision cuing in on interesting details, like the giant plastic sign that rested delicately above our window, unsecured, just waiting for a light breeze to sweep it into a fit of Edward scissor hands. Or the rickety highchair at Marlene’s Deli that weeble-wobbled around like a bad game of Jenga. The crinkle appeal of that bagel bag from the coffee shop might distract her long enough to process payment but wait too long and the tissue paper will dissolve and lodge itself in her throat like a cotton ball ... hypothetically speaking, of course. Additionally, my imagination spirals me into nightmarish visions of cars veering off the road as we take a casual neighborhood walk. Or I could stay off the main roads and opt for a nature trail tangled with the possibility of wild brush lunging out at your unsuspecting child because you’re using the front facing stroller. It’s understandable that becoming a parent can age you ten years into a future of grey hairs and crow’s feet. That is a lot of pressure!!

Here are a few baby-proofing, or generally life preserving tips and resources:

1. Secure all hanging decor. Picture frames, signage, wreathes made of thorns, weaponry, heavy iron sculptures, shelves with burning candles and glass figurines, that sort of thing. They may seem secure when you're in a room with full grown, weathered adults but put a "porcelain doll" baby in the middle of the space and it's just a matter of time before the next earthquake or shoulder swipe. All the sudden shutting the front door becomes a game of Russian roulette. We quickly came to our sense and traded the pyramid shelf system I had jury rigged over the changing table for this peace of mind:

1. Go ahead and splurge on one of those baby proofing kits they sell at BabiesRUs or any baby good store. These kits are a gold mine of plastic pieces intended to keep our juniors from the other side. Why not buy survival supplies in bulk. Just be sure to baby proof the baby proofing kit. That thing has choke hazard written all over it.
2. Check out these neat ideas for do it yourself baby proofing secrets. Café Mom on The Stir features 12 clever safetyhacks using items like tennis balls and pool noodles. In the meantime, literally get down and check out exactly what enticing mischief lies outside of our normal sights.
3. Rather than fear for your child’s life every time you think about the harmful cleaners and chemicals lying around the house, consider switching to more natural methods. Here are a few recipes from Wellness Mama.
4. The art of distraction. (My mother used this trick on me) There’s nothing more tempting then a bunch of drawers and cabinets that are off limits. Reverse the psychology and leave one cabinet full of small pots, Tupperware and baby friendly utensils as a successful means of keeping that munchkin out of the glass wear and knife sets.
5. A good rule of thumb, although easier said than done, is to teach responsible, safe behavior. Hopefully when the day comes that your child does come across a screenless window or a door to the other side, they will have a little sense instilled to make good decisions.

And then you started to crawl.
April, 14, 2015.

Please remove your shoes before baby eats their trail mix

Ladies and Gentlemen we're about to have a crawler.

Lea is embarking on her 7th month in the world and while her valiant push-up attempts are just shy of welcoming mobility, she has certainly decided that she's sat still for long enough. It's frustrating to be a baby and achieve a sense of awareness regarding the playground of chair legs to chew, electrical outlets to prod and meaningless decor to swat at, all long before your motor skills can actually transport you through that wonderland of mischief. (As you can tell mom is thrilled about the new prospect of baby proofing.) Soon enough she will master the army crawl or the one-legged zombie scoot or some other version of the awkward beginner's crawl.

In the meantime I look around our little cubbie of a living room at the floor that I vacuumed yesterday. I've always been thankful for our cammo-tan rug and its ability to disguise disgust for artistic "dimension." But now I watch my daughter paw at flakes of dried dirt on the floor and I find myself pulling feathers and hair out of her curious mouth. I can't help but cringe and lunge for the vacuum. It will inevitably become a daily duty and sometimes a second run over will be necessary. All in a day's work.. maybe I'll squeeze it in while I brush my teeth in the morning.

Our home is a dwelling of active adventurists, in and out of the front door all the time. Additionally the lion king of this castle comes equipped with a bike that sleeps indoors and work boots that sprinkle wood chips and dirt debris like fairy dust. It's a hard transition to make and I've never been one to require it on my own accord but I'm afraid this may soon become a shoe-free zone. I think I'll have to make a custom welcome sign:

"Please remove your shoes before the baby eats their trail mix."

Cold season

I must say, this blog was quite the undertaking. I'm not sure how successes like Abbey do it.. and not just mildly manage a blog but transform it into work of art and mini enterprise! Good God woman. My aging last post becomes the least of my worries as the laundry piles a mile a minute and tiny people demand to be held around the clock. (Did I mention I just added baby food chef to my list of aspirations.) It's a wonder I have much time to think at all let alone tap those thoughts out on the keyboard. But if there is one thing we know as parents, it's that time keeps a steady pace and sometimes the best you can do is put one foot in front of the other.

On a day like today the rain comes down and my head fogs up like our single pane windows thanks to this little bugger of a cold I caught last week. In the intial first time parent phase I decided that middle of the night baby duty wasn't all that bad. Lea's sweet little cry would pierce my heart and I was up and hovered over her bed like a stealth aircraft. Motherhood infused me with a new source of energy in those moments when I needed it most. But looking back now I have to admit that it's a doozy of a thing to go six months on mere 2-4 hour stretches of sleep. I am now a complete stranger to a healthy REM cycle. My dreams always end in "to be continued.." It seems my mighty immune system has met its kryptonite.

Today I rise to my 12 am, 3 am, and 6 am wake up calls and feverishly try not to leak a face full of snot into my daughter's hair. But I'm afraid it's inevitiable that she'll catch what I catch, since she's rarely more than five feet from my germ infested bubble and she has a new fasination with trying to put her hands in my mouth while she's eating. At least it's a good excuse to stay in sweat pants for the afternoon, eat frozen pizzas and catch up on Redbox releases (Yesterday we gave two thumbs up to Whiplash and The Imitation Game). I think I'll just sleep in the basket of unfolded laundry at my bedside so I don't have to look at it. Let's hope this baby of stihl is as strong in body as she is in spirit. .. to be continued ..